Monday, November 30, 2009

Reeling From It

A smart woman told me the other day, "The universe always knows what you need, and gives it to you."

Well, excuse me while I recover from being bitch slapped by the cosmos. I'm not even sure what happened, which is I think at the basis of any good bitch slap.... you never see it coming.

It's not any one particular event, but a series of whirling dervishes set into motion by work / family / onset of the holidays / general conflict and over scheduling. I think my body started to shut down, because it started to rebel.

Then I had to resort to something I never do: ask for help.

The outpouring of kindness has overwhelmed me. It also kicked off an emotional upheaval that is like trying to stop the Mississippi River single-handedly. These days I can usually be found not more than arm's length away from a tissue box and people walk by doing double takes, wondering if they should say something. But what? "Here's another tissue"?

In retrospect, I probably don't cry enough. I'm probably too layered with self-imposed responsibilities that any minor infraction would seem cataclysmic. A better woman would take it in stride and say, "So what? This too shall pass."

Or maybe this is what is supposed to happen. Time to reach out to others. Lean a little weight on shoulders of those who care, love, and stand steadfast while I falter.

A sweet surprise showed up at my desk today, through a series of friends. It had a heartwarming note and a few sentiments -- and a book of positive affirmations. Page 164 says, "Allow others to give you loving care. Receive without guilt or apologies." -- Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

I love you, my friends. I'll reel it in and be back to my old self shortly.

No comments:

Post a Comment